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Thursday, January 13, 2011


currently listening to: where is my mind; the pixies
currently craving: himym season 5 on disc
currently, currently: anticipating the weekend up north

oh goodie, i have a mini-tutorial for you today! i was recently inspired by a profile picture on facebook, and thought, "now hey, there's a good idea!" today's tutorial in honor of all you out there who think you are just awesome. go you!

[hip-ster] Origin: 1935–40, Americanism ; hip4 + -ster. A person, esp. during the 1950s, characterized by a particularly strong sense of alienation from most established social activities and relationships. See also: jazz enthusiast.

first things first. you HAVE to have a sweet camera. not a point and shoot, no $3000 canon something or other; a no-name camera with square negatives that you develop and scan yourself. antique stores & garage sales are preferred places of purchase. examples are as shown:

proceed to nearest place with nature imagery. mountains, oceans, national parks or galaxies also preferred. next, ironically set up your shot to cut off half of something. also acceptable, blurry and out-of-focus subjects that are too far away, or purposefully load film incorrectly as to create images that are halves of other images. here are some wonderful examples:

next, develop film and overexpose. you may choose to de-saturate the image or cross-process, both work for this tutorial. also, adding a film rebate border is very hip today. here, i cross-processed the image and added a border. to cross process, simply adjust the curves in a new layer in photoshopp (both red & green) and give it a slight "s" curve. in the blue channel, move the blue line up a bit from the bottom, and a down a bit from the top. OR cross process it yourself in the lab! you smartie, you.

next choose a shape. circles and squares are agreeable, as long as no one knows you tried too hard. choose a color from a palette of, say, photos of your parents from the 1960's. uncommon color choices include: pale salmon, almost mustard yellow, faded periwinkle, the occasional pink. turn transparency of shape to 50-60% (mine is at 52%), and place over part of the image where it makes the least sense.

voila! you have a skilled, paradoxical, self-contradictory, contrary to accepted opinion, fully edited photograph that perfectly exemplifies your complex personality!!

now, define "complex" ....


Lindsay said...

you are awesome. more tutorials, please!

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