someday

i am sharing with you some of the places i am going to travel!! notice how i said "going to." although i may not know when, or possibly how i could ever afford to go there, i will find a way :)

first on the list, thessaloniki. apart from its sweet name, its far away from athens, and i don't need touristy. i mean one, its greece, and two, check out this hotel:

next, i want to stay in a quaint little town in the uk. i would love to wander the grounds of the bibury court hotel and enjoy the meadow and explore the castle-cottage ALL DAY.

loveLoveLOVE to travel !

musikk

currently listening to: broke my eyes, donkeyboy

currently craving: that smell

currently, currently: excited to dream tonight

ok do i have some music for you...

first off, donkeyboy's "caught in a life" album is fantastic. i am falling for the nord's :) you are going to watch their "ambitions" video.

nexxxt, passion pit's "the reeling" is obviously great, but did you know their video was filmed in brooklyn RIGHT where i lived?? there is a screen shot of the light sculpture under the bridge i used to walk under :)

and wave machines "the greatest escape we ever made" is probably one of "the coolest music videos i've ever seen."

and i may have saved the best for last!!! french navy is quite possibly one of the most romantic music videos i've ever seen. i was even reluctant to share this, because of how badly i want this to be my story, do not steal! this e n t i r e video will happen, for me. i love it so much.

and so, i hate to kiss and tell, but my love affair with music is hard to keep quiet. here's to love.

you might try these

currently listening to: stillness is the move, dirty projectors

currently craving: a good night out

currently, currently: watching conspiracy theory with kp

so so so many links i want to share with you all!!! ahh the excitement i get from all the design blogs i frequent!! here are only a few of the wondrous links i have discovered.

this link has some absolutely hilarious 'core-toon's' ... the first of which is amazing, because of how true it is. gd favors....if i had a dollar for every one i gave, i would be a paid designer. lol

"teux deux"

basically a minimalist design-y application for a to-do list.

i am so using this!

watch the simple, comical how-to video here.

how funny, i discovered a site that quickly and efficiently erases all of your social networking sites, so you can have your actual life back....

what can i say, it made me smile :)

here.

ok how ironic...last time i disclosed to you that i keep samples of things

(possibly air) in jars, documenting specific and notable moments in my life, and VOILA!!

this site is EXACTLY THAT!!!! ONLINE!! it is a website (actually a book) where you can enter in your own....i did ;)

aaaaand....an exquisite fireplace, to hold you off till next time.

that is all for today!

a new list

a new year, a new set of lists. i make resolutions not to be this, to try and improve that, to create this new mindset, and leave that one behind. whether or not i achieve them, i end up being a different person each year from particular experiences, new people, and just growing up. i loved who i was last year, and i know that God has so much in store for me this time around, i just need to live up to his dreams for me, which are so much INCREDIBLY more than my own, feeble, tame aspirations.

as far as schooling goes, i have less than 5 months left...forever. i still can't grasp what it means for me, not you, or a roommate, or a friend. i just want to make the most of EVERYTHING, and literally gather up the air and keep it in jars. 'this jar is from the last-first day of classes' and 'this one was from the first night i had the confidence i needed' and 'this one is from the day i realized i really don't know anything.' i actually do things like this, so don't be surprised if i have a collection going already...

i deleted my facebook a few days ago, and the weirdest sensations accompany leaving it behind in 2009. it got to be too much, and 'addiction' would be an appropriate noun to describe it for me. "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming." i put too much of myself out for the world to see, and abuse, and do with as they please. am i living for them? should i be on a schedule for everyone else, always available, whenever they want me? am i exposing parts of me that were never meant to be shared? did i share too much of my favorite memories online, and become disappointed when others didn't find them that interesting? was i waiting on a few people, constantly throughout the years, saddened by them not talking to me, or disappointed when they weren't online? i just can't live like that. technology shouldn't haunt me like it does, and i shouldn't be so dependent on what it 'does' for me (like it ever did much). i can't say i feel the freedom like i want to, but its the first step in regaining myself.

lately. ugh. i was so tired of being seen as a plan b, and i realized i was not being respected. i just know who i am, and i know i have so much love to give. when my love is seen as an option, something to use whenever someone felt like it, and not tended to and returned, that was when i knew, after a long time hoping and waiting and thinking i must have been mistaken, that it was about time i took care of it myself, and not on the whim of some other person. my love is valuable.

well, i'm not dying, and i have a wonderful family, and a promising future. i have been blessed well beyond what i deserve. i don't want to use this blog as a way to blame people, or to put anything or anyone down, i just think that being able to vent and piece things together and type out what i have jumbled up and complicated in my mind can't be a bad thing.

to end things on a positive note, some of my favorite things!!! :

my perfect bed :)

my perfect room :) !

my perfect view!!

adventing

currently listening to: heartbeats, the knife

currently craving: a haircut

currently, currently: still up from last night

i am still awake, from the many cups of coffee and diet cokes i downed with my friend. i love kyle. trekking the streets of minneapolis, exploring the nooks and underrated cafes, and the occasional illegal escapade. tried some new food tonight, took a few pictures, watched some s&c, talked until 5:30am...best friend.

seriously, watch this video he made for us!!

best friend.

i know a lot of people say they are addicted to coffee, you always hear it and blahh, its not a big deal, but now i actually believe them. i get intense headaches everyday around 4 if i don't have at least one large cup. i get jittery and grumpy without it, and the weird part is - i LOVE that! my pee smells like coffee all the time, maybe tmi, but those of you that can relate, are smiling right now.

have you heard of artist anna verlet? she takes absolutely stunning landscape photographs, with a very soft, hazy, nostalgic feel. they really hit a sweet spot for me, and i get lost in whimsical fancies as my mind wanders to what i imagine myself doing in these magical settings. check some out here.

also, another thing i have been reflecting on is the word "advent." we are in a season of advent, preparing our hearts for christmas, or to put it another, better way, preparing our hearts for the coming of Jesus. i have never really considered this to be a season of preparing for anything other than preparing your house for company, helping my mother clean the kitchen after she bakes cookies, running here and there buying gifts for my many girl cousins, and at the last minute, reading the story from luke describing the journey from nazareth to judea, in bethlehem, where a young virgin gave birth to the Christ child. where should our hearts be in the days anticipating christmas day? giving? sure. remembering Jesus's birth? obviously. but i think what we should really be doing is cleaning up that place in our heart where Jesus resides, removing everything we have put in His place, re-throning the king of our hearts, honoring the sacrifice He made by putting on flesh to dwell with us.

measure your life in....love?

currently listening to: belated promise ring, iron & wine.

currently craving: being barefoot on a hot day.

currently, currently: debriefing.

as you can see, i gave up on blogging while living in new york. busy? yes. preoccupied with seeing each and every little tinsy thing i could? absolutely. forgot that i even made a blog? quite possibly. no excuses! VIVA LA BLOG

• one great thing about blogging, you get more room than a status update, you don't quite have the same fear of each person you know reading it, and you get to create for yourself a completely custom-made world, all by yourself. even now, i can use this one laptop to talk to any person in the world with internet access, provided they end up here. how divine.
• there are so many things i want to say, and the thing is, i just want to be heard. it doesn't necessarily matter to me who hears it, i just have this unquenchable desire to speak what is on my heart, and voila, the internet.
• my lip ring may have to come out. everyone gets on me about it, they ask me why i didn't do it sooner, they ask how does that not hurt, they get disgusted when i show them, i laugh internally and enjoy their faces. now, it hurts, and it will undoubtedly leave a gaping hole in my face. hooray!
• i can not seem to latch on to this whole college experience, and alas, i only have one semester left. i feel like i never got it just right; friends, classes, working, boys, health, sleeping, scheduling, volunteering. i feel.....off. the only cure i can seem to find, isn't a cure. i doubt there really is one. it seems to me that everyone else seems to have it right, while i go on about my day, with a semi-smile and a hope of finding my small second of solace though out my ordinary routine, that i attempt to make extra-ordinary. i desperately want to make the most of everything. touching the walls, breathing in the musty air, visiting every unexplored hallway and stairwell, finding new ways back to my room, wandering through the small patches of forest and seeing what tiny treasures i find. and yet...i can not wait to leave this whole joke of a lifestyle behind...way behind me. but will it fix anything?
• there is a baby upstairs. my little doll of a niece, screaming for the last 3 hours. how do parents do it. it is times like these where i am extremely happy i am not married and/or with child/with children. i love her with all of my heart---today i taught her to say "isss" which means, of course, kristi. kr'isss'ti. she even walked a few steps to me. its incredible how you can make a bond with such a tiny creature, who doesn't even know how much you are already planning on being a part of her future. already planning where i want to take her on her first roadtrip, after i rescue her from her first heartbreak. what types of happy songs we'll sing in that car ride. i love her, as well as the tiny embryo of a baby that is growing in her mommy's tummy.
• my heart...right now. i paused to think what it really feels, and i decided that for once, i do not think i know. hah, a blogger writing about love, cliche? necessary. i want to want, but i want to run away. i want to have, but can't possibly imagine keeping. i ache, and i ache to shake it off. someone pour me a fancy drink and listen to the soundtrack of rent with me, eh?
• seriously though, "measure in, love." how profound! in midnights, in sunsets, in cups of coffee, how do you measure a year in the life? i stopped to make a list today, a list measuring this year. how does one measure a year? i am being redundant, i apologize. but try it, what categories would you create? i have so many, and it is the only way i can seem to create any sort of a bond, a connection with each of those moments where i was just hurrying to get to the next moment. bonds. connections. i hurt with them. i cry for them. i live for them.

i can not sleep at night anymore. have you ever felt too tired to sleep? a strange concoction of emotions and lists, thoughts and silent prayers, hopes that are just ever so slightly out of my reach, and a curiosity of the unknown that i long to explore. someone, anywhere....sing me a lullaby?

fresh off the boat

yea i got lost trying to find baggage claim, but made it to the taxi stand, the driver dropped me off a block away so i had no idea where i was, then ended up at a subway station, then finally, after dropping my bags multiple times, found my way to the dorm, where i waited at the front desk while they were trying to get me to come inside to the "other" front desk. anyways, i went up to my room and it is definitely an old new york room. you can imagine the chipped paint and very questionable bathroom...but i really can't complain! i'm in nyc!! its pretty sweet to say i took a nap in brooklyn (heights) today. ps i didn't have a blanket because i didn't have enough room in my bag (which i had to pay 90$ for for being overweight).

so i moved in, and went exploring with evan & jeremiah right away, to the brooklyn bridge, all around to random shops, and i especially enjoyed buying my bagel from a guy with a perfect brooklyn accent. delicious. the bagel & the accent.

then my roomie jenae came and we exchanged stories of our 'hardships' of getting here, then we all went out to grab dinner at wally's pizza (yummmm), saw the studio space (i'd rather sleep there..its amazing), then took like 50 subway trains to times square!! first off, i felt like i was an ant crawling underneath the city at high speeds, not actually knowing what was above me. none of us could have gotten anywhere without jer, he's the pro ;). times square brought out this weird thing in me, like i had been waiting my whole life to do it, and i finally did. i can't really explain that feeling, but apply it to whatever it is you've been waiting your WHOLE life to do!! next on my list, somehow make it nyc corporate. and i have an INTERNSHIP INTERVIEW set up for next thursday the 5th! man, god has blessed me more than i could have ever deserved.

i lerrrrv the people i'm here with. they're funny & outgoing, quirky, and not to mention cute!! a perfect combination.

so yea, also i'm a tourist, i know it.

i really really wanted that i heart ny shirt.....really bad